I hate table reads with a fiery passion of a thousand suns.
I hate it cause I feel I present my first impression in such a bad tone. I’ve always been like that at table reads. Almost embarrassed to do it at “full passion” I guess.
I always really really want to stand up… Which would be weird… 
Oh well, I’m excited to get this on its feet. I’m excited. And now angry. Why does it always snow on Fridays?
Okay, a lot has happened in the last couple weeks, and I’ve been super swamped so I haven’t posted in a while. So, I’m going to play a little catch up.
So far, I’ve had another costume fitting, 2 vocal rehearsals, and the first ‘official’ rehearsal where we were introduced to the design and directorial concepts for the play.
In relation to my earlier post about the costume, I asked Kevin about my pants. He said that while the tightness of the hose was meant to call attention to my calves, the function of the balloon-like pants was to show off my relative affluence as well as my family ties. The fact that I am wearing such extravagant clothing attests to my position in society, and displays my affiliation with the Montagues. So, Benvolio is a wealthy young man who doesn’t have to practice a trade, and can wear clothing purely for fashion. The stockings accentuate my calves, which are considered attractive, and I also have a codpiece, to call attention to the fact that I am a virile male. He also said in the first ‘official’ rehearsal that my clothing is in a much ‘newer’ style than that of the older Montagues, so there is apparently some teenage rebellion going into my chosen style of dress.
In vocal rehearsals, we have been exploring the text, and finding ways to discover more about our lines. Pretty much, this has consisted of saying a set piece of text over and over in different scenarios (ghost story around a campfire, cocktail party, etc.), as well as a little bit of scansion work. It all seems kind of elementary to me, and the sort of stuff covered in Voice and Body class, but hopefully it’ll help. Since I had already scanned my lines, I was kind of hoping to be able to ask specific questions about a few of them, but I didn’t really get an opportunity.
The official start of rehearsals was a little bit intimidating, because it became apparent just how much work and money had already gone into the production. It really made me want to do myself proud with this, more than I did already. The set is going to be incredible, but I foresee some absurdly difficult scene changes. Pity the poor guys on shift crew.
However the most momentous stuff that has happened in relation to Benvolio has been happening out of rehearsal or class. Typically, most of my thinking about this stuff happens when I least expect it, because as a creative process, it’s difficult to set aside time to really do work on it; you just don’t know what’s going to inspire you or spark your interest. A lot of the thoughts I’ve been having have occurred when I’ve been walking somewhere. Something about being outside and moving gets me going, so I think I’m going to start having regular walks by myself. The main thing I’ve been exploring is how Benvolio can justify his aversion to violence. Since Romeo is his best friend, he must have strong family ties, but he doesn’t let them force him to violence against the people who should be his sworn enemy. But according to Mercutio in act 3, my “head is as full of quarrels as an egg is full of meat.” So why do I constantly try to stop the two sides from fighting? One explanation I’ve come up with is that I fear the consequences from the law should the two sides come to blows. But it occurred to me that maybe the reason I don’t want them to fight is because I don’t want my friends to get hurt, which is certainly a stronger choice than fear of the law. Mercutio’s admonishment could arise from the fact that I will willingly argue with anyone over anything, but when it comes to backing up words with a blow, I shy away from it. This interpretation is only possible due to a cut made in the text we’re working with, however. Mercutio says that when I enter a tavern, I put my sword on the table and announce “God send me no need of thee!” but the cut portion of the text says that when I get a few drinks into me I draw it. So maybe I haven’t found the answer yet.
Another thought I’ve been having relates to my relationship to Romeo and Mercutio. Paul Morris, who is playing Mercutio and also is keeping a senior project blog paulmorris.umwblogs.org) has posted about how he doesn’t think that Mercutio really likes Benvolio, and only tolerates him because of Romeo. While we haven’t really discovered anything about it in rehearsal yet, this thought gives me something to play with in terms of our relationship. I think Benvolio really wants to be liked by both people, and looks up to them. If his actions are motivated by a desire to be liked as well as a bit of hero worship, it informs a lot about him. He wants Romeo to find a girl because he wants Romeo to be grateful to him, he tries to stop Romeo and Mercutio from fighting Tybalt because he doesn’t want them to get hurt, and he is especially wounded by Mercutio’s death because not only has he lost someone he considered a friend and someone he looks up to, Mercutio curses his house, and by extension, him. He will never get the approval that he so desperately sought, and now, Mercutio is dead, and Romeo, because he slew Tybalt, is most likely destined to be executed. In that moment, Benvolio believes that he has lost the two people he cared most about, and it is his fault, because he didn’t stop them.
We have our first read through tonight. I’m pretty excited.
Oh good lord… This is going to be scary.
The odd thing about theatre is that I often have trouble seeing it as “art.” I’m fully aware that it takes artists to make, artists to put everything together, artists to work and work and work to finally make their final product “reachable” to their audience. For some reason though I struggle to take it as a form of art. I think it’s probably because there are so many of us “artists” working together. Writers usually do it alone, painters usually do it alone, films are so heavily manipulated by the director. Theatre however is so… People heavy. I will have to put my trust into others, they will in turn have to put trust into me. One actor could “ruin” it. It’s not that I don’t respect the theatre… It’s that I kind of hate it for that reason. I hate a lot of things I respect, I respect a lot of things that I hate.
So why bother? I dunno. Because.
The theatre and I have a lot of trouble seeing eye to eye at times. The theatre often sees itself as special, or unique, or timeless, or smarter. If you don’t like me… Don’t try to understand me. You’re too dumb for that, kind of attitude. “I’m so unique that if you know me good enough, you’ll finally be able to spell my name correctly. Idiot.”
“I hate you theater, haha! Theater! Come back to me baby, please I’ll be good this time.”
Artists. Psh. That’s a laugh. I guess I have trouble seeing theatre as an art because I know that I certainly am not an artist. I perhaps a bit unfairly put a lot of my personal animosity (against myself) up against everyone else. In my head I try to force everyone to have the low standards of theatre that I have. Theatre isn’t an art! Why the hell are you taking it so seriously? Why take it so seriously? Stop… It’s not supposed to be like that. Low standards are good, needed. We live life! Theatre is life! You don’t overthink life, why should you be overthinking theatre then?!? Stop!
(Hammertime.)
“The pox of such antic, lisping, affecting
fantasticoes—these new tuners of accent!”
“Blah blah blah blah blah. Don’t overthink it!”
“Paul… Isn’t that what you’re doing?”
“NO! I’m just worrying!”
“You’re worrying?”
“Shut up! YOU AINT KNOW ME!”
etc.
etc.
etc.
Theatre isn’t art because it is life. Therefore in order to do theatre correctly you must not approach it as an art… You must approach it as if it is something much more simple. (Life.) Therefore if theatre is done correctly it imitates life. Life imitates art, and art imitates life, and theatre imitates life. Therefore theatre is art.
Wait, what the hell?
I guess then my main problem… Isn’t the theatre itself. It’s us. Us fantasticoes that take this stuff way… WAY too seriously. I guess that’s where a lot of my problems in the world come from. I approach things in life much more simple minded then a lot of people expect it to be. The results usually make me look bad but they are oh so honestly innocent!!!
(Open scene. Homosexual couple heavily making out on a bench.)
Me: Sigh… Do you REALLY have to do that here?
Guy1: Wait excuse me?
Me: That’s so gross.
Guy2: Oh my God. Listen you ass we’re going to stay right here whether you like it or not.
Guy1: Yeah why don’t you go listen to some Bill O reilly with your other homophobe friends.
Me: Wait… No… What?
I then explained to the gentlemen that it wasn’t about them being gay. I just didn’t want to see that. Heterosexual or homosexual. I joked with them saying that if it were two girls making out I probably wouldn’t stop them however. I would probably record the session and upload it on the internet in order to increase my youtube subscriber base. They invited me to a party the next night in which I angered a lot more people through my stupidly simple ways of speech.
Me: “No I don’t think gays should get married.”
(I think a record literally scratched to silence.)
(People started yelling at me.)
Me: “No! I mean. I mean I think we shouldn’t be worrying about looking into you guys getting married. We should be trying to outlaw marriage altogether. Is… Is what I meant. Hah…”
(Everyone laughed and resumed drinking heavily.)
I actually stayed good friends with that one gentlemen on the bench until he died in a horrific car crash about two years ago.
So it goes.
Theatre is life. I get annoyed with life. I get annoyed at the stupid little things sometimes. The small worries that build in the back of your head until you realize that you’re being consumed by it. The little memory that means nothing to you, until you realize you’re crying over it, the beautiful little moments that aren’t beautiful until after they’re already gone. But they’re still there right?
http://www.umw.edu/cas/theatre/archives/review.php?sid=1&recat=2
They’re more than a photograph from the past right?
“You are what you hate.”
-Paul Morris-
…yes, this will be my second post in one night. But I put the blame on a 24-oz. energy drink & a recent onslaught of theatre-heavy conversations.
Acting. What is it anyway?
I’ve been a part of so many debates lately – both in & outside of class – pondering this exact question.
Some say it’s a process. Those in this school of thought record every minute detail of their work – from the games they play in rehearsal to the detailed hems of their costumes. They examine, deliberate, research, dissect. They seem to treat it more like an equation than an experience.
Others seem to approach it as a deeply-reflective, meditative practice. Something that requires vocal warm-ups, deep-breathing, & limbering stretches. These actors seem more intent on the rhythmic, therapeutic-like physicalities of acting.
Another method is the academic approach, the intense study of the text behind it all. Actors who work in this manner are incredibly cerebral in their preparation: scansion, operative words, etymological reasoning… Lexical motivation for their physical choice.
…I personally have no idea where I fit in in all of this.
Mind you, a.) there is no “right” or “wrong” way; it’s all preference, & b.) I’m fairly certain these aren’t actual “categories” of actor methods; these are simply my own personal observations… which really mean nothing at all.
I approach acting as, well, life.
It sounds horrifically cheesy, but to me, it’s the simplest way of putting it – because acting IS simple.
Anyone who has laughed, cried, gotten jealous, lost their tempers – anyone who has felt anything at all – can act. Because what are characters but renditions of humans? What is theatre except a mirror?
But – again, in my humble opinion – I think actors go wrong when they don’t simply… let go; when they let all the fluff & the thinking get ahead of them. They allow the processes to paralyze them. There’s nothing wrong with a systematic process so long as the emotion comes through. But I think more often than not, actors forget the one essential ingredient: heart.
I don’t know. I could be terribly wrong in this manner of thinking. And again, it all comes down to preference. No two actors work the same way (which in itself is pretty fascinating).
But this is the only way I personally know how to do it. I just… approach it instinctively. Yes, it’s rather stripped of its “craft,” but for me this is the most effective method – plus, I enjoy it more. =) I’ve always felt that a character in a play is textually-based enough as it is; why confine them to more text? Get them on their feet, let them breathe. It’s fun!
Now, don’t mistake me, this doesn’t mean I don’t put thought behind it all. Because I do. I put a lot of thought into it. But I try to put in equal amounts of thought & feeling.
But… this why I’ve always felt that theatre is the purest, most sensational art – because it draws directly from the veins of humanity. Unlike music, visual art, or writing, no prior knowledge or exposure is needed to understand its language; whether you’ve studied for years at Yale or you just crawled out of a gutter somewhere, everyone has “been there” in some way or another.
And I think that’s beautiful. =)
I suppose I should start this new round of blogging with an introduction.
I’m Cassandra Lewis, a junior at UMW, & I’ll be playing Lady Capulet.
(Dear readers, please bear with me as this post is inevitably going to be long-winded & circular.)
Before auditioning for “Romeo & Juliet,” I was told by quite a few people that I was kind of destined to play Lady Capulet – which, to be honest, didn’t sit too well with me; I was always cast as the bitter matriarch in high school, & I really didn’t want to fall into that unshakable typecast again.
But, when I found out I was to play Mrs. Capulet herself, I realized that it was my responsibility not to fall into that typecast; to dig something out of her that isn’t usually portrayed. I knew I didn’t want to play her as the cold, detached lady of the house she commonly is. I wanted to expose a young, sad, wounded woman whose only weapon all these years has been detachment.
But now, as we near rehearsal, I’ve realized I have NO idea how to accomplish this.
Thanks to Mr. Billy Shakespeare, every actress ever doomed to play this enigmatic woman is armed with nothing but her own imagination to flesh out Lady Capulet. Very little detail is given to her, other than the basics:
And, uh, that’s about it. Shakespeare has provided me with more questions than answers, such as:
So is she an important character at all? She seems to have no place in her own home or family, not even a true name of her own. But if she’s not important, why is she in this text? What role does she serve?
I really hope I figure it out soon, because right now, I’m lost.
The only real conclusion I’m tip-toeing towards is a fictitious one (a selfish one really, completely unsupported by the text & unseen by the audience): that perhaps Juliet is not Lord Capulet’s child. This could explain why Lady C has distanced herself from her only living child, & why Lord C is so quick to disown her when his plans go awry.
…I probably won’t follow-through with this theory though, because really, it’s a bit of a stretch. But it’s fun to think about, & to wonder who the baby daddy actually is (Paul & I have joked about Mercutio being a paternal contender).
Anyway, these are the wonders I hope to sort out before rehearsal starts getting hot & heavy.
Currently, they’re killing me.
I don’t like him. He’s always trying to say things… Or do stuff. I mean he’s cool and all I guess. But at the end of the day he’s just kind of there. Like seriously dude… I wanna fight Tybalt. Stop being lame broman brahsauce. Srsly.
I miss Romeo. We used to hang out a lot. He’s all into being in love and that stupid crap. I mean I think I used to love this girl once, but that was a while ago. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? I guess Benvolio’s okay… Romeo’s been ignoring me so I guess I HAVE to hang out with this guy.
“Gurpdedurp derp.”
-Paul Morris-
i is on umw facebook site/ this makes me feel neat! i like feling neat! it makes me feel feelings when i feel neat about being on the “rss” facebook feeds for facebook notes and things that r cool like that! my name is paul. i like things.hello pual1 i like u111
I’m getting really tired of snow.
The past 17 or so posts have finally gotten me to understand act one scene four.
Line one= Playful
Line two= Playful/slightly annoyed
Line three= Playful/slightly annoyed
Line four= Playful/slightly annoyed until my “give me a case” line when I start to think more about myself
Line five= I don’t like/want to think about myself. So I try to get everyone to go to the party
Line six= Playfully annoyed by that jackass Romeo. Trying to outwit him
Line seven= Playful, given up on trying to get to the party on time.
Line eight= I already know I’m going into my speech. I’m trying to show off
Line nine= Joke at Romeo’s expense
Line ten= Queen Mab.
Line Eleven= I’m terrified at myself. I try to play the whole thing off with wit. I fool everyone (in my head) but Romeo knows something’s really wrong with me.
We get drunk. Horray. I’m gonna holla at some Capulet biddies. I heard Juliet was hot but kind of dramatic at times. I might see what Lady Capulet’s up to, I really regret hooking up with Lady Capulet that one time about 13 years ago when her husband was out of town. Wait… How old is Juliet again?
I think Helen hates working with me. We were doing the scansion of specific lines and… Well… I literally DO NOT know how to do it. I’ll be the first to admit that it must be annoying to have some kid try to argue with you… But, needless to say, I usually end up being that kid. I guess it’s because I hate being too technical about things. I feel if I was onstage thinking about stuff like that… I would get too caught up in that and forget the base feelings that I needed for that scene. I guess that’s how I’ve always approached acting. It’s pretty simple. I’m happy, sad, excited, playful, angry, or confused. My job is to get that specific “base” feeling to branch out into more subtle ones until I can’t go any further. If I break stuff down on a scholarly level… It feels to0 robotic to me, and I hate that.
Helen said that I should be aware of scansion so I know what to do with specific words. That we have to say the words correctly so they fit in iamb. (Banished, Romeo, Juliet, etc all play around with their syllables throughout the play.) The only problem I have with it all… I thought it was pretty obvious how, or when to say those words in their specific way. I’m sure I’ll screw up from time to time… But my job isn’t based around technicalities… My job is based around my character. If I really cared about saying it correctly I would be stuck saying it in that annoying way that we thought was correct in middle school. Duh duh, duh duh, duh duh, duh duh, duh duh. I’m going to find my own various and sundry ways to get my operative words. My Mercutio has lines where there are no operative words. But according to the Iamb rules… Those same lines have like two. Two words that would change the character in ways that would make me absolutely embarrassed to present to an audience. I don’t want to have my bow feel like an apology as I felt in Proof or Our Town. I need to have this based completely in emotions. I’ll know what I’m saying, and how to say it. But it’s the “why” that makes this job so damn hard sometimes.
“I really want to find an old journal that Shakespeare would scribble his thoughts in every night before he went to bed. I pray that the opening line in his journal would be “I just did it… I really wasn’t thinking all that hard.” I would laugh at all the people who based their whole careers around theories that turned out to be drunk ramblings.”
-Paul Morris-
http://hubpages.com/hub/BIC-Lighters
I am an incredibly superstitious person. I don’t know why I just am. In high school I directed a streetcar named desire, an actress backstage accidentally said “Macbeth” on opening night and I actually yelled at her. I then proceeded to do all the “good luck” things in order to wipe away the curse. I call it “the Scottish play” whether or not I am even in a theatre. I purchased a white bic lighter tonight and I plan on using only that one lighter for the rest of this process.
“But wait Paul! That’s kind of dumb!!!” You may ask. Yeah it is.
I had an interesting talk with Landon tonight. I was kind of dead from sleep deprivation and caffine withdrawals but if memory serves it went something kind of like this.
Landon: “So I read your blog.”
Me: “Oh… That’s awkward. Uhhh… So what did you think?”
Landon: “Uhh… Well… It didn’t really have a lot to do with your character.”
Me: “How so?”
Landon: “Well, most of it was you complaining about things.”
Me: “I suppose.”
Landon: “It’s more about your views on things… Not your process.”
Me: “Well… My views are needed in my process I guess.”
Landon: “The list of names? You did a character vita… On yourself.”
Me: “Well… We kind of do that anyways. I just decided to type it all down.”
Landon: “You just seem to have no hope for anything.”
Me: “No… I’d say I have hope.”
Landon: “You just seemed really sad dude.”
Me: “Actually I’d say I’m for the most part, above average in my uhh… I’m uhh…”
Landon: “Content?”
Me: “Yeah.”
Landon: “But see… You seem to have no hope for humanity though.”
Me: “No… I have a lot of hope… I just keep getting disappointed with humanity. I try to take everything from a cold, logical point of view.”
Landon: “You’re saying you lack emotions? You lack a visceral experience?”
Me: “No… I do experience that. I just try to take an approach where I’m not censoring myself in the blog. I think we all sort of think these things… The blog is for me to understand… (I then struggled some more for the words until…)
Cassandra: We spend so much time in our own heads yet we hardly understand ourselves.
Me: Yeah pretty much.
Cassandra: I don’t think you can even begin to start pretending to be someone else if you don’t even know your own limits.
Landon: Yeah but It was kind of just you being an aloof intellectual. By breaking down some boundaries by “not censoring yourself” you constrained yourself into new ones. And as far as being disappointed in humanity… Who are you to judge? What if “those” people are actually happy?
Me: They aren’t.
Landon: Really?
Me: I’m judging “them” just like you’re judging me. I’m judging you for judging me. You’re judging me for judging you for judging me.
Landon: It’s gonna destroy you man.
Me: I think I kind of like that.
I’m approaching this blog… With the utmost seriousness. I’m forcing myself to think in different ways. Mercurial ways. Things I used to be terrified of… I decided on a whim to laugh at instead. It’s exhilarating. But it is an addiction. A potentially dangerous one. I am aware of that though.
I’ve noticed myself lately thinking differently. Not forcibly so, just instinctual. I’m running lines every night… God I need to get this on its feet before it runs. I noticed today actually my left hand moving on its own. A “tick” that I, Paul Morris, don’t have.
The way I approach situations like these is pretty simple actually. This blog is kind of showing it. Though my entries may seem more “Paul,” I have to make Mercutio into me first. Only then can I “make the jump” from Paul to Mercutio. I have to start from the beginning.
I always do things this way… It’s just this time it seems a little more startling. Probably because I haven’t really “performed” for over a year now. I just need to get used to this feeling of having my head invaded. It’s all about control.
Let me finish this by saying I’m an incredibly strong willed person. I know my limits when it comes to stuff like this. If I ever feel myself “losing it” I can turn it off. It’s just I like to walk around campus walk in this state. I don’t see it as “unhealthy” really. I like diving into things like this. This is how I always do it… It just looks a lot scarier when I record it all down.
I like talking to people when I’m forcing another personality to take the forefront. I have to nurture this new “personality” into something more though… Though I can turn it off… That would “kill” it and I would be left with nothing. He’s very fragile right now.
“I fear that I will waste all my life searching for little ways to pass the time. Then when I have little time left to waste, I will be left searching for ways to prolong the passing of it.”
-Paul Morris-
Well… Wow. That pretty much made me feel like a talentless person watching that. I didn’t know acting like that was possible. I couldn’t even clap my hands when it was over because I was in a state of awe. Acting and script. I don’t even want to discuss it tomorrow in ideas in performance… There’s really nothing to say. Well maybe “Hey… How about instead of talking about it… Let’s go see it again.” That’d probably be the only thing I could possibly have to contribute.
“Go see Andrew Long at Signature Theatre.”
-Paul Morris-